Shite and everything that's WRONG !
Again this is just me being a bit dramatic while swatting bugs that are flying in front of the desktop . Anywaaay , talking about pondering and sitting back thinking , I've realized that I have been doing it a lot these past few days . And I do mean a LOT . I've been thinking about what I've done , what I'd like to change , you know the usual stuffs . I've come to realize that there are a looooot of things about myself that I'd like to change . But when I get that chance to change something , I can't . I can't because I'm scared . What ? I'm only human right . And EVERYONE is afraid of changes . Right now I'm just trying to get through everything one step at a time . Day by day . I guess that's the only thing I can do now . I'm 19 this year , and like it or not , I'll be 20 next year . Can you believe that ? Me , the girl who ALMOST everyone sees as a little kid ? Actually being 20 years old next year ?
I had a sheltered life as a kid and teenager . I wanted to grow out of that protection . But when the time actually comes for me to be a grown up , I feel the BIGGEST urge to run back to familiar stuffs . I know the family will always be supporting me in whatever I do , but I still can't help to think that I'm not , in the SLIGHTEST bit , ready to face the big WORLD . In times like these , I wish to be back in the protection of school . Having fun with friends , getting money from parents , and just being a KID again . Shit , thinking of facing the WORLD can make me break down in tears . Ya ALLAH , I hope you can give me courage in everything I do , in every decisions I made . Amin .
loves <3 ,
anym
